Cambridge University Conservative Association

Conservative Party posters of the week 2

Hugo Hadlow — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:00:14 +0000

From the Conservative Party Archive:

Conservative Party posters of the week 1

Hugo Hadlow — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:00:44 +0000

From the Conservative Party Archive:

Poetry corner 8

Hugo Hadlow — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 08:00:56 +0000

“Hands All Round!” (1852)
by Alfred Tennyson, 1st Baron Tennyson (1809-1892)
from “Tiresias, and Other Poems”

First pledge our Queen this solemn night,
     Then drink to England, every guest;
That man’s the best Cosmopolite
     Who loves his native country best.
May freedom’s oak for ever live
     With stronger life from day to day;
That man’s the true Conservative
     Who lops the moulder’d branch away.
Hands all round!
     God the traitor’s hope confound!
To this great cause of Freedom drink, my friends,
     And the great name of England, round and round.

To all the loyal hearts who long
     To keep our English Empire whole!
To all our noble sons, the strong
     New England of the Southern Pole!
To England under Indian skies,
     To those dark millions of her realm!
To Canada whom we love and prize,
     Whatever statesman hold the helm.
Hands all round!
     God the traitor’s hope confound!
To this great name of England drink, my friends,
     And all her glorious empire, round and round.

To all our statesmen so they be
     True leaders of the land’s desire!
To both our Houses, may they see
     Beyond the borough and the shire!
We sail’d wherever ship could sail,
     We founded many a mighty state;
Pray God our greatness may not fail
     Through craven fears of being great.
Hands all round!
     God the traitor’s hope confound!
To this great cause of Freedom drink, my friends,
     And the great name of England, round and round.

Poetry corner 7

Hugo Hadlow — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 11:19:30 +0000

Sonnet 30
by William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste;
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
And weep afresh love’s long-since-cancelled woe,
And moan th’ expense of many a vanished sight;
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
The sad account of fore-bemoanèd moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.

But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end.

Officers and Committee – Easter ‘10

Callum Wood — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:43:56 +0000

Following the Elections and TGM, the following members are elected to serve as the Executive and Committee for Easter 2010

Officers

	Chairman John Oxley, Gonville and Caius College
	Vice-Chairman Fergus McGhee, Trinity College
	Junior Treasurer Christopher Stanton Peterhouse
	Campaigns Officer Rachael Harrison, Gonville and Caius College
	Secretary Callum Wood, Queens’ College
	Registrar Albert Beardow – Christ’s College

Committee

Christoper PoelQueens’	Matt Johonson Queens’
Aidan SneeCaius	Edward Ng-Cordell Downing
John F. Watts Christ’s	Joseph Sanderson and Adrian GordonJesus College

The Common Agricultural Policy

Aidan — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:43:01 +0000

May draw all of your attentions to this letter which sums up quite neatly what is wrong with that great socialist policy which so dominates the EU budget.

Rt Hon David Miliband MP
Secretary of State,
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA),
Nobel House
17 Smith Square
London SW1P 3JR

16 May 2007

Dear Secretary of State,

My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs. I would now like to join the “not rearing pigs” business.

In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.

I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?

As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven’t reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this?

My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is – until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.

If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100?

I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases?

Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don’t rear?

I am also considering the “not milking cows” business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?

In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits.

I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.

Yours faithfully

Labour’s election strategy

Hugo Hadlow — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:06:12 +0000

While Gordon is in his bunker, apoplectic with rage at the suggestion he has an anger management problem…

The Labour Party have sent a secret leaflet to their candidates, briefing them on electioneering strategy.

Candidates have been told not to campaign on the party’s record in office.

It explains: “Labour need to ensure that the next election is not seen as a referendum on the Government.”

Poetry corner 6

Hugo Hadlow — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:00:13 +0000

One plus one leaves two
by Ogden Nash (1902-1971)

Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Gentlemen come every day
To count what my black hen doth lay.
If perchance she lays too many,
They fine my hen a pretty penny;
If perchance she fails to lay,
The gentlemen a bonus pay.

Mumbledy pumbledy, my red cow,
She’s cooperating now.
At first she didn’t understand
That milk production must be planned;
She didn’t understand at first
She either had to plan or burst,
But now the government reports
She’s giving pints instead of quarts.

Fiddle de dee, my next-door neighbors,
They are giggling at their labors.
First they plant the tiny seed,
Then they water, then they weed,
Then they hoe and prune and lop,
They they raise a record crop,
Then they laugh their sides asunder,
And plow the whole caboodle under.

Abracadabra, thus we learn
The more you create, the less you earn.
The less you earn, the more you’re given,
The less you lead, the more you’re driven,
The more destroyed, the more they feed,
The more you pay, the more they need,
The more you earn, the less you keep,
And now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to take
If the tax-collector hasn’t got it before I wake.

Send a message to Labour

Admin — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:02:21 +0000

They have sent us a message, that they can take whatever they want. Well we will send them a message: that this — this is our land!

This is our land sound bite Avatar sound bites

MICHAEL HOWARD – 24th February

Callum Wood — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 12:20:27 +0000

Rt Hon Michael Howard, QC, MP

~PRESIDENT of CUCA
~Leader of the Conservative Party, 2003-05
~Home Secretary, 1993-1997
~Secretary of State for the Environment, 1992-1993
~Secretary of State for Employment, 1990-1992
~Member of Parliament for Folkestone and Hythe, 1983-2010
~Alumnus of Peterhouse
~Union President, Easter 1962
~Principal Operator in “The Cambridge Mafia”

…is coming to visit CUCA to address us once more. His Party leadership, electoral gains, and record of speeches in the House (and Union Chamber) speak to the great experience, insight and political ability that he will be bringing to his old haunt.

As Mr Howard is not seeking re-election, we expect him to divulge some exceedingly good tales of his time at Cambridge; his opinion of the new generation of Conservatives; and his prescription for fixing Labour’s mess.

The time is subject to confirmation – watch this space.

24th February – Cambridge Union Society